I just got back from seeing Eat Pray Love. I've got to say I really didn't want to see it but went with my mother because she really wanted me to. Well, I am so glad that I did. It might be cliche or whatever, but really truly I feel this movie sent a fantastic and very real message.
I am going to be leaving in 3 weeks to study abroad for a semester in Rome. The woman in this movie began her journey to find herself in Rome.
This summer I have really begun that journey, the idea of finding myself and growing into adulthood. Just like her, I feel I have been extremely stunted by men/relationships. From my first boyfriend onward I was never alone. That was 3 years ago, I am 20 now but really feel I am still 17. It's because I have not had the chance to explore myself as a singular person. I am so overjoyed that I have finally learned my hard lesson that you cannot find yourself through another human being. I need time alone, time to search for who I am. I need to define myself as Kamille. Not Kamille who is dating so and so and thinks what he thinks. I am so DONE with letting others dictate what I should feel and beleive.
For the first time in 3 years I am finally feeling hope, I am once again beginning to feel a slight presence of God around me. I always knew it was there, but lost sight of it and really was made to question everything. I do not really know much, but I do know there is something beyond our realm. There is a light and peace that exists when you can really let go and trust that there is someone there, something beyond yourself.
The best part of this movie was that she was able to find her balance, and when love come to her she was afraid, but ready to take the plunge. I know I am far from the point of love, but I am so grateful that I am on the path to balance. I know that when I am ready everything will fall into place. It has to! As long I not loose sight of hope, and never forget the things in life that do bring me joy.
For the first time in years I can honestly say I am no longer depressed. I finally am beginning to believe that I do not have to carry that illness with me forever.
I have been working on a lot of jewelry lately, I hope to take some pictures to put on here soon!
wow nice writing, you express yourself well. You have a very mature aptitude about life at such a young age. I am planning on going to the movie too. I have a friend who told me a touch about it. I understand your thing about guys too. When I was your age it seemed I always had to have someone and so much wasted time being who they wanted me to be.I love the part the most of coarse about feeling God around you. I am a born again Christian and when I was your age I asked Jesus into my heart.(that's what born again means) Its been a long learning experience and I have changed so much. Seems to me you have the gift of wisdom. What you have remarked about in your writings takes most adults a life time to learn. If you feel you have a natural hunger for God you should feed it. Most people don't want to believe this but its true, God does pick some people and I think has picked you. I don't know where you are at with God or what you believe. But if your looking for somewhere to start I can sure make some suggestions for reading materials and or such. What a wonderful opportunity to travel and study afar.Your going to have a ball! blessings paula
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my thoughts. I cannot say how excited I was when I saw that someone was actually following my blog!
ReplyDeleteIt makes me feel really good that you think I have wisdom.
I am feeling God so much right now, I am just so grateful. I do not know specifically what I beleive, and I have tried Christianity before but for some reason it did not stick. I have yet to find a religion that I feel this is it! I think that the most important thing is to be in balance with yourself and with God.
I have been talking to him lately and just saying thank you so much.
If there is a book or site you want to recommend I would be happy to hear.
It is comforting to hear that you were in a similar situation with men but have gotten through it. I think that has been my biggest hurtle.
Thanks so much for your words!
Hey ! whats up? I would not get hung up on "religion"! As I like to explain to others the difference between having a relationship with God and being "Religious" is a huge difference. People put way too much focus on the title over the door. I truly believe that when we get to paradise they don't ask you for your membership card to get in. I really don't believe there is a truly " right" church either. You will find believers in any Christian church and you will also find lost people in every church. People get their eyes focused on man and not God and they get disappointed. All people are sinners and people will always let you down. So keep yourself Focused on God and you will be in good hands. How I explain what I believe is ....Keep focused on where you are going. A Christian walk is a journey where God shapes you into whom he planed for you to be and you must be willing to let him shape and mold you. You are a work of art. When you are on the joinery keep looking forward. Religion is what I explain to be the road signs along the way. They are just distraction. All the details of what different titles believe. The one and only most important scripture to remember is John 3-16. It basically tells you the ONLY way to God is through Jesus Christ. Which means to ask Jesus to live in your heart and make him the Lord of your life. All the other religious stuff and details and some details that get you traveling down side roads that lead you to other places, you need not bother going. Now for a great book for someone who hungers for God and wants to feed their heart is : Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.You can get it at Walmart or the library. Also any book store. Its a study to do in 40 days. One chapter a day for forty days. I think it should be done in forty weeks. You should read one chapter a week and read it every day.You really let it sink in and let it speak to you and think about it. It will change your life and answer a lot of questions. I really hope you get the book and read it too. I will be praying that you do.
ReplyDeleteblessings paula
I like that you say not to get hung up on the idea of religion! I think it is silly to, because man made religion anyway. I don't think we are ever going to fully understand God in our human state, so I do not see the point of saying these are all the rules and its just like this, cut and dry.
ReplyDeleteI have heard of that book! Actually I think my mother has a copy. I will borrow it from her :) Thank you Paula!
My daughter is your age and I hope one day she ask me to borrow mine! hugs
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